


No sleep when it's wicked

by Retro_Reactive



Series: Past and future [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Budding Love, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Read the first one before you read this, enjoy, or cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-04-14 07:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4556025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retro_Reactive/pseuds/Retro_Reactive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko wakes screaming and the gang want to know why</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleep is hard to come by

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own avatar, just the story change.

Zuko had been with the gang for weeks now. The final battle with his father was fast approaching, the closer they got to home the more he began to panic.

Most nights Zuko spent awake, claiming that he was taking the first watch. He knew he should get some sleep, the dark circles around his eyes were becoming more pronounced everyday. He was getting sloppy, making mistakes with the avatars training. 

It was starting to get harder to keep himself awake during the day, the gentle sway and the heat from the bisons fur lulled him into a sense of calm, causing him to drop his guard. 

He didn't know how much longer he could stay awake for.

#############################

The sun had set hours ago and the group was sitting around a fire. 

Appa was snoring in the background, Momo laying on top, rising with every inhale only to drop back down when he exhaled. It made a funny scene, the fire casting shadows across them, making it seem as if the lemur was floating.

The fire cast shadows across everyone, highlighting the dark circles around Zuko’s eyes. 

The others were beginning to notice, all of them suggesting that he should get some rest and one of the others would take first watch.

Zuko would be Zuko and say that he didn’t need a rest, that he was doing perfectly fine on his own, but not even Zuko knew if he could stay awake another night.

The warmth from the fire and soup that they had just eaten was beginning to make him relax. Clouding his mind like a warm blanket. His limbs were feeling sluggish, and with every breath, he was becoming progressively more sleepy. 

“Zuko, you should get some sleep” Katara’s face showed concern, her voice soft and soothing, like she was talking to a wounded animal.

Zuko was too tired to reply, he felt insulted though and managed a dark scowl. No one called him weak, especially not a girl.

“I’m not calling you weak Zuko, I just think that if you are going to protect us then you have to get some rest” She placated, Zuko could never understand how she could figure out what he was thinking just from his scowl.

“Hey”, Sokka had whipped his head in her direction, obviously taking insult from the comment, but after a sharp look from his sister, he turned in the other direction and pouted.

Zuko would admit, Katara knew just what to say to get what she wanted.

Zuko gave a slight nod, but the look in his eyes said it all, ‘five minutes’.

 Katara gave him a nod back in understanding, she knew it was all she would get, but with how tired Zuko was she knew he would sleep much longer.

Zuko closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, he hoped he didn’t have the dream again, how was he going to explain that.


	2. Loud enough to wake the dead

Zuko had finally drifted off to sleep, considering the speed in which he did so, Katara could only assume that he was exhausted. He had spent the last few weeks making up excuses on why he should stay awake, but Aang pointed out the fact that he wasn’t the only one in the group. 

Katara was still suspicious of him, but then again they hadn’t survived this long by trusting everyone they met. Katara wouldn’t have put it past him to believe that he was better than them. Considering his life though; or what she knew about it, he probably didn’t trust people easy, if at all. This was a further testament to how tired he must be, someone with that attitude wouldn’t have fallen asleep, not without taking precautions.

Katara was snapped out of her thoughts by the loud snoring of her brother. Between him, Appa and Aang she was surprised anyone could get any sleep. 

Since everyone was still asleep she decided to take first watch, she would wake her brother in a few hours to switch, but until then she would keep a vigilant eye, her hand always hovering over her bottle of water.

###############

A piercing scream drove Katara from her vigil, sending a shiver of dread at the sheer hopelessness of the sound up her spine. This was the first time she had ever heard such a sound, and it was the last time she ever wanted to. She snapped around to the source of the noise, cap of her bottle off and hand poised to attack. What she saw caused her to stop in her tracks. 

Zuko who had previously been sleeping without a sound was thrashing around, sweat poured from his face and his hands clawed at the ground. He looked as if he was fighting an invisible battle and by how he was screaming and thrashing he was losing.

Katara was freaked out Zuko never made any noise except when he talked, Momo made more noise than him. 

Glancing around she saw everyone else frozen in different states of movement. 

Toph had a stone hovering in front of her, although she couldn’t see, she could hear perfectly fine. 

Sokka was lying on the floor, his sleeping bag tangled around his body, forcing one of his hand awkwardly across his back, in the other he held his trusty boomerang. The marks in the dirt around him suggest that he fought with his sleeping bag to get up, his obviously failure must have meant that he simply shimmied around until he was facing the source of the noise. 

Aang had a small twister going on between his hands. It was progressively growing bigger and when he noticed this he put his hands down.

Looking back to Zuko his screams and cries only seemed to get louder. They were deep into the fire nation and the sound had long since woken Appa. Appa looked as if he was going to panic, tossing his head and moving into a position to take flight.

Katara had to act fast but Aang acted faster. He rushed to Zuko’s side and jumped on him to wake him. The impact caused Zuko to bolt upright, tossing Aang from him. Zuko’s eyes were dazed and frightened.

Zuko glanced around, he knew he wasn’t near his father, but when he looked at his companions all he could see was he fathers face, his twisted grin. Heart thundering, Zuko began to panic, all he could think was that he was surrounded and that their was no escape.

Bolting upright he tripped on his own sleeping bag, causing him to fall to his back. 

His panic caused to act without thinking and he tossed a ball of flame at the first person he saw.

A wall of earth rose in defence, he couldn’t understand how his father could use earth bending, but he was already too far gone to figure it out. All he saw was the wall of earth rising and his fathers patronising grin. He didn’t realize that what he was seeing, was far from the truth. Toph’s face was the picture of concern, as was everyone else's.

Zuko began to feel claustrophobic. The dark began to feel suffocating and the fire that flickered innocently once before, now became brighter. His scar and body hurt, old wounds that never healed, flared up again, causing him excruciating pain. 

Stumbling back and away, he was too late to see the wall of water coming for him, too late to dodge. 

Zuko bought his hand up to shield his face, but he knew, with this attack his fight would end then he would end up back under his fathers thumb. 

When no attack followed, he lowered his hands only to see that his father wasn’t there. 

Instead what he saw were his travelling companions all staring at him with varying degrees of shock or anger.

He turned his head to see Sokka marching towards him, a tattered sleeping bag lying in his wake, boomerang at the ready. Sokka’s mouth was moving but Zuko could hear nothing over the beat of his own heart and the blood that was roaring in his ears.


	3. Hello darkness my old friend

Between one blink and the next, Sokka was standing right in front of Zuko. His quick advance and abrupt stop flicked the dirt at his feet and onto Zuko. The dirt stuck to the sweat on his chest and face, making him feel sticky and dirty.

Looking up, Sokka was towering over him, his face showing nothing but rage. The position made him feel uncomfortable, like they were judging him, but they couldn’t be judging him, they didn’t know anything. He wasn’t weak.

Suddenly instead of silence, everything around him reached a clarity that he didn’t have. The sights, sounds and smells, became so detailed that it was overwhelming. Where Sokka voice just moments ago couldn’t reach him, it know rung in his ears, making his hands fly up to cover them.

“What’s the matter with you” Sokka voice rang with a patronising tone. 

Zuko looked around at everyone’s faces, and his previous thoughts were true. They were judging him, they thought they were better.

“Come on Sokka I’m sure it was just an accident” Aang interrupted Sokka before he could continue his triad. From the look on Zuko’s face Aang wouldn’t be surprised if nearly everything that just happen was failing to register.

He felt sympathy, he too had woken from a nightmare only to see the exact same look on Zukos face reflected back at him in the water. Aang didn’t know what happened to cause it, but he knew that Sokka would keep going, sometimes it wasn’t always good to dredge up old memories. Especially if the memory caused as much pain as his expression suggested.

“No Aang I knew we couldn’t trust him, the moment we turn our backs on him, he will attack” Sokka rebutted.

Sokka’s words yanked Zuko back into reality, this was no longer a dream, and the words caused Zukos fiery temper to drown out his fear. The emotion was still there, but it was no longer paralysing.

Zuko shot to his feet and moved before the rest of the group could blink. Grabbing hold of the front of Sokka shirt, he gave him a light shake to get his point across.

“Don’t ever question my honour again” Zuko had lived years questioning his honour because of his father, and the jab rubbed raw his previously mending scars. He had just got his honour back and wouldn’t lose it.

Aang and Katara voices rang out, calling out to them to stop the fight. Sokka hand rose up to dislodge Zuko’s hand, but the teens grip on him was too strong. 

Zuko lightly tossed Sokka away from him, the push causing Sokka to stumble backwards across the ground until he regained his balance. 

When Katara moved to advance to her brother’s side, Sokka held his hand up to stop her.

Glaring at Zuko, he decided to get in a few parting words.

“Whats you problem? What crawled up your arse and died? You act like everything is beneath you… your just like the fire lord” Sokka voice pierced the silence, and what followed was a silence so loud, it was deafening.

Zuko reeled back as if he had been slapped. Aang inhaled sharply, his tone chastising as he called Sokka’s name.

Zuko tipped his head down, his hair obscuring his face from view. He squeezed his hands into fists his blunt nails digging into his hands, causing blood to ran between his fingers and make a quiet splat as they hit the dirt.

Zuko's face felt wet, and thinking that it was just sweat didn’t worry about it. That is until the drop fell from his chin. 

With horror Zuko realised that he was crying, one tear begets another, and soon a continuous stream of tears ran down his face.

With the flood of tears, came the memories that he had been suppressing for so long. Tipping his head back the gang moved back in shock as looked at them, silent tears of anguish running down his face, leaving trails in the dirt that Sokka had left earlier.

Sokka recoiled, he would admit that what he said was harsh but he didn’t think it was that harsh.

Zuko’s thought were running rampant, one thought lead to another, and he began to consider what if he was like his father. What if they lost this war and he ended up like him. His thoughts were overwhelming. No longer able to contain his anguish, Zuko did something he hadn’t done since his mother disappeared.

He tipped his head back and wailed. The sound so broken and heart wrenching, it caused everyone around him to share in his pain.


	4. Existential Crisis

Zuko couldn’t express what he was feeling in words, instead he continue to scream at the heavens, tear running down his face as the sound echoed in the still night. The sounds coming from his mouth were broken and while the others thought it was one long drawn out yell of pain, the soon realised that what they were hearing were repeated screams of anguish. 

Every bit of breathe he drew into his lungs was expelled in a vocalisation of his pain ending in a cough that said he had nothing left to offer. After, he would inhale another ragged breath in, only to expel it, and make the sound again.

His cries and tears expressed everything he couldn’t say, everything that he wouldn’t say. It expressed the words that he could never trust another enough to speak. It spoke of his pain, his fear, his anger, and his hatred and showed the world what he had lived through. What he had kept bottled inside for so many years.

The anguished cries continued for a while, and getting over their shock, Aang and Katara began to approach him, treading carefully as if he was a wild animal that would turn on them at the slightest provocation.

The sound of a twig snapping within the fire seemed to set Zuko off into another frenzy, but instead of attacking them like they thought he would, his attention shifted to himself.

Zuko couldn’t stand the thoughts or the memories much longer. They were tearing him apart. He couldn’t understand why he has to live with them and no one else did. He had to get the memories of blood and pain from his mind, he knew he just had to, but they wouldn’t come out, they were stuck there. They were stuck there and he couldn’t get them out.

His head began to hurt. Why is it that he seemed to be the only one that felt this useless? When was someone else’s turn? He leant forward and thrust his hands into his hair pulling and scratching at his scalp as he bought them back towards his face only to thrust them through his hair again. He was digging his fingers into his head and pushing his heels into the dirt until they slid out in front of him, only to pull them back to his chest and do it all again. When they approached the thrashing became more wild, the scream and crying more fierce and desperate and the struggles more violent. Eventually they had to back off when strands of hair began to fall through his fingers from the insistent pulling his was putting his head through. 

He sensed the others back off, he felt like he could breathe again and the vicious pulls turned into gentle tugs, until all he was doing was gently raking his fingers through his hair. 

His hands were clutching the back of his head and he slid them forward beginning to drag them over his face only to pause as stare at his fingers.

Under his nails and across his fingertips was blood, not a lot but enough to make him pay attention. Reaching his hand around his head he felt the back of his neck only to twitch at the slight twinge of pain the action bought. 

The pain and blood bought the memories back. Dreams were fine he didn’t feel any pain just had the memory of it, but the dull throbbing on the back of his neck bought with it, the feeling of ghost like hands that had haunted his memories for years. The same hands that made him bleed and held him down while he struggled. The same hands that caused him so much misery, the same hands that left him bleeding disgraced and useless and totally defiled lying in a pool of his own blood on the concrete floor, laying there while others watched.

Zuko had always wondered why he allowed his father to do what he did, others would say he didn’t allow it, that the circumstances were just out of his control, but Zuko couldn’t convince himself of that. The fact that he didn’t fight back proved he was weak, and that weakness must have been why he deserved that pain. There had to be a reason why he suffered and if there wasn’t he couldn’t find it. Maybe he did belong under his father’s boot, maybe he was nothing lower than dirt. These were the thought that plagued Zuko and they made him feel disgusting. All the while, he didn’t realise that while he was trapped in his memories he was doing things that were setting all of his companion’s minds screaming in alarm.

He began to mutter thing under his breath and although most of what he was saying was too soft to hear, Aang and the others could hear some of it. ‘I’m dirty’ seemed to be the most frequently repeated and with every minute it seemed to get louder.

Zuko looked down at his skin and all he could feel were hands touching and holding him, pinning him down and digging in harder as he lightly struggled, until it felt as if his bones would break. His arms were lined with flecks of dirt and as he ran his hand across his arm, he left small trails of blood from his fingers behind. He didn’t like the feeling and wanted it gone so he raked his fingers down his arm. The slight tingle of pain blocked the feeling of hands, but when the slight pain subsided, the feeling of hand would return. 

Even in his current state, Zuko could still recognise that the feeling had disappeared and the pain; if only for a little while had over rode the feeling and dominated his senses. Putting his left hand on his right wrist he raked his hand up to his elbow digging his fingers in deep enough, so that they left bloody trail in their wake. The pain; although greater, didn’t last long so he focused his attacks somewhere else.

Setting his hands across his face and chest Zuko dugs in and raked his fingers every which way, up down, left and right, it didn’t matter, the action bought him pain and that was all that he cared about. The tears that were leaking from his eyes continued, and every drop of salty water that leaked into the scratches on his skin, provided a burn that helped to steal the memories. Although they weren’t gone, at least they were locked away, gone from his mind for now and no longer overpowering his thoughts, Zuko continued to scratch not stopping even when his finger began to dig the cuts deeper. His fingers continued to dig into the gouges, digging out more flesh and causing more blood to well to the surface, until they left bleeding lines like tear marks on his face and stained his shirt red.

Aang and Sokka leapt forward, each grabbing a different arm and pulling them out to the side, away from his body. The action caused Zuko to struggle further. He began to scream bloody murder, swinging and kicking at anyone who came within reach. Sokka’s legs were swept out from under him and he landed on his back winding himself and jarring his teeth.

Zuko swung his arm at Aang grabbing at his arm and digging in, sliding his hands down and leaving scratches as he tried to claw his way to freedom. Aang refused to let go, instead, catching the yelp of pain behind his teeth, he held on tighter and reached for Zuko’s other arm that was flailing wildly on his other side.

Zuko couldn’t understand why the shadow wouldn’t let him go. The voices that he was hearing were vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember who they were. All he could think about was how whatever was holding wouldn’t let go; instead the grip was getting tighter and tighter, refusing to budge and causing his arm to ache. Why wouldn’t they let go? He wasn’t weak anymore; he should be able to get free.

Zuko began to wonder if he was just doomed to always be treated like this. But he wouldn’t, no he couldn’t stop fighting. He surrendered once and it was the worst decision of his life. He wouldn’t surrender again. His father broke his mind and ruined his body, but he refused to allow his spirit to be broken. If he could just get free. 

Aang finally grabbed ahold of his other arm and with a yell to Sokka, Zuko legs were now pinned. With this the feeling of hopeless he felt all those years ago began to set in. He wasn’t weak, he refused to believe he was weak, but with every second that passed, his resolve was replaced with fear and he began to do something he promised he would never do again. Zuko began to beg.

“Please let me go, please I beg you, stop”, every word was punctured with a broken sob, forced from a throat that was raw from screaming. The blood on his face had begun to dry, clumps of dirt getting stuck in the cuts and the blood that had previously being running down his face coming to a stop in his hair, causing it to stick to his neck and the locks to become matted.

After a few more futile kicks, he stopped kicking out and Sokka let go and took his place back on Zuko’s other side grabbing his arm from Aang.

Zuko curled his legs up to chest and began to sob in defeat, letting out long drawn out moan of agony and self-loathing.

“Please stop father, I will be a good boy”. Zuko’s voice cracked on the last word, and with the admission, Aang and Sokka pulled away as if they had been burned. Katara’s hand flew up to her mouth to muffle the gasp that tried to escape, tears escaped her eyes only to disappear under her hand and reappear again at the bottom.

Toph walked through the trees, and sensing the tension she sidled up to Katara and leaned over to ask what was wrong. Katara turned to her and whispered in her ear, prompting Toph’s smile to fall and an exhalation of ‘Oh’ to escape her mouth.

By now Zuko had curled into a ball and fallen to his side, his arms wrapped around his legs as he rocked back and forth, each defeated whisper of please stop punctuated by a sob that wracked his form and caused him to hiccup.

Sokka and Katara backed away in shame, the memories of everything they ever thought or did to Zuko rushing back and causing them to feel sick in the stomach about their treatment of him. Horrible things had happened to them and they had taken their hurt out on him. They never stopped to think that the privileged prince may have not been so privileged after all. The implication of his words caused bile to rise in their throats and their wanted to do nothing more than crawl into a hole and disappear. Instead they backed away and congregated together in the corner, as if in a group they could defeat and squash their guilt before it overwhelmed them and bought them to their knees.

Aang looked down at Zuko in shock, not able to believe that this was happening or that it had happened to the strongest member of their group, probably the strongest person he had ever met. Here he was curled into a ball like an injured child, flinching at every sudden noise and trembling in fear.

Toph sudden appearance next to him caused him to jump, his thought were occupied by Zuko and he hadn’t heard her approach until she was there.

She looked between them, only to turn and stare meaningfully at Aang. 

Aang looked back at her and when she subtly tipped her head in the direction of the siblings he got her point. 

Katara and Sokka weren’t going to come any closer and Toph wasn’t really good at offering comfort to people. Well she was, but she just wasn’t soft enough especially not for their current circumstance. Zuko didn’t need a punch in the arm or her tough love. That left only him. That means he would be alone with Zuko, he would never admit out loud that he like the idea but he would prefer it to be under better circumstances

Toph must have seen the realisation and thoughts cross his face, because a twinkle entered her eye and she gave him a knowing grin. This prompted a blush to spread across his face, staining his nose and cheeks red and making his ears hot.

Looking down, Aang shyly uttered, “That’s probably best” and made his way to Zuko’s side.

Aang sat down, his back against the rock. His leg bumped into Zuko’s head prompting him to latch onto it and clutch at his pants pulling himself closer and wringing his hands in the fabric. Aang looked up and although Toph couldn’t see, the fact that she was staring in his direction caused his blush to spread down his neck. She must have sensed his embarrassment and although she would usually prolong it, she turned away and left to the other side of the camp site leaving Aang and Zuko sheltered in the shadows and away from prying eyes.

Feeling movement Aang looked down only to see Zuko pull himself closer, his eyes squeezed shut blocking out the world and his face buried in his hands. The position couldn’t have been comfortable so Aang bought his hands down and grabbed Zuko’s head. Lifting it he shifted until his legs were under his head, then he lowered him back down into his lap.

Zuko hands moved from his pants to the bottom of his shirt and he pulled it towards his face, the fabric causing his cheeks to bleed again and his tears wetting the fabric of his shirt. Aang was heartbroken for Zuko and in an act that the prince would not accept in his right mind; he brought his hand up and ran it through Zuko’s hair, lightly tickling his scalp, all the while being careful to avoid snagging his fingers on the tangles and pulling anymore of his hair out.

Eventually the sobs and the sound of Zuko gulping for air quieted down, his grip became slack but still strong enough to avoid dislodging and his breathing leveled out, signaling Zuko’s return to slumber. All the while Aang continued to stroke Zuko’s hair. 

Long into the night he continued this, until he knew Zuko wasn’t going to wake again, only then did Aang allow his eyes to close and sleep to claim him.


	5. Second chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. This is the end

Zuko woke to sleep crusting his eyes and dirt across his face and hair. He felt sore from lying on the dirt and his clothes stuck to his skin where the sweat dried. The campfire that blazed the night before was out, instead a steady stream of smoke rose from it.

Memories from the night before rushed back to him, fragmented and in pieces. For the life of him Zuko couldn’t figure out what order the happened, trying to sort through them all just gave him a headache, so he just gave up.

He felt ragged and weighed down, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved and weightless. He had never told anyone about what happened to him, he had never spoken of it. Now that he did, it felt like a great weight was lifted of his shoulders. He felt better than he had in years, and he suddenly wished he had listened to his uncle about sharing the burden earlier. 

The memory of how he fell asleep suddenly popped into his head, prompting him to remember sleeping on Aang’s lap. A blush rose to his cheeks, Zuko was mortified. Not at the act itself, but at the fact that he didn’t hate it like he should. Instead it made him feel giddy, like a little kid who had been given a treat, that he wanted for years. Glancing around the others were still asleep and while he didn’t know where Aang was, he was happy there was no-one who could see his moment of indulgence. 

Zuko forced himself away from those thoughts, every time they came back, he would shake his head to clear his mind. 

Zuko looked out towards to horizon and sat back against the rock to watch the sun rise. Orange intertwined with yellow began to creep across the land, purples and reds lit the clouds, fanning out across the sky like a painting. It was beautiful, and while some of his memories of fire were painful and ugly, it was sights like these that made him recognise the beauty within the element.

As the sun rose higher the so did the others and from the shadows, Aang walked out. He must have been on watch. 

Aang turned and seeing Zuko awake began to make his way around the camp towards him, he waled carefully so that he wouldn’t set Zuko off, but with confidence, Zuko would not turn him away, and with that thought he began to pick up the pace.

As Aang walked towards him, the light from the sun cast colourful shadows across his face, highlighting the lines of his cheekbone and the dips and valleys across his chin and neck.

‘Beautiful’, the thought was so sudden that Zuko eyes went wide and his back went ramrod straight.

‘What the heck, where did that come from?’ Zuko was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn’t hear what Aang had said.

Looking up Zuko’s face must have shown his confusion, because Aang repeated himself.  
“I said, how are you feeling?” Aang voice held nothing but concern, and it was this concern that made him start crying again.

Zuko couldn’t figure out how the avatar could be concerned for him, after all the time that he spent chasing him. Why is it that he could care enough about him when others, like his own father couldn’t? One thought lead to another, and soon his thoughts spiraled back to what had happened the previous night.

Worried Aang looked around half expecting the fire lord to be behind him, all he saw was the rest of the group, going about their business avoiding looking at them to give them some privacy. Well all except Toph she was all ready on Appa, snoring away, her hands behind her head.

As the sobs grew louder, Sokka began to look over, and remembering what happened last night Aang, approached Zuko to get him away from the group. There was a river close by and Aang knew how Zuko felt about being clean, and from the sight of his clothes, hair and face, Zuko was most definitely not clean.

Grabbing his arm Zuko didn’t resist when Aang pulled him to his feet. Aang then pulled him towards that river, which was on the other side of the thick cluster of trees. With the slow pace, it took about five minutes to make it all the way through, then another five minutes to reach the waters edge.

The river in actuality could only be counted as a small brook. Water trickled past, fast enough to be clean, yet slow enough to know that entering would not mean that you would be washed away with the current.

By know Zuko’s tears had stopped, Aang took that as a good sign, but when he looked back at his face, the look in his eyes was dead. Aang lead Zuko to the rocks that lined the bank, and pulling him around to the front of him he sat him down on the largest rock.

Calling his name Aang, waited for a response. Getting none he began to get desperate. It was obvious that Zuko was getting lost in his memories again, why Aang couldn’t be sure, but he knew that he would have to stop them somehow. He wouldn’t allow Zuko to suffer alone. He wanted to help and although he would never be able to understand the feeling of such betrayal, he could understand pain. 

Thinking fast, Aang came up with an idea. Checking to see if Zuko was paying attention him and seeing that he wasn’t Aang waved his hands and dumped a small amount of cold water from the river on top of Zuko head. 

It worked like he thought it would, the cold dragged Zuko from his thoughts and the sputtering and indignant squawks sent Aang into a fit of laughter that caused him to clutch his stomach and curl over.

Aang laughter was contagious, because the scowl on Zuko’s face didn’t stay in place long. Soon it was replaced by a smile that was revealed his white teeth, followed by a bout of laughter that sent him to the floor beside Aang.

Regaining himself, Zuko turned and saw that the water was to far away for him to reach without moving, but still believing some sort of revenge was in order, Zuko ran at Aang and tackled him to the ground, his arms around his waist. Rubbing his wet face across Aang chest, Zuko’s body soaking Aang’s clothes.

Aang reacted on instinct and flipped them over. When he realized what happened he was already on top of Zuko sitting on his lower stomach, Zuko’s hands on his waist from where they had slipped. Both their faces turned red, but neither moved, both in shock over the feeling of comfort the position gave them.

“We should really clean up” Aang spoke reluctantly and despite his words, he made no attempt to move.

“Yeah, your right” Zuko answered him tightening his hands as if he was going to lift Aang of him, but after a few short minutes, no further actions were taken.

The moment was spoiled by turtle ducks coming in and landing on the water. Flicking the water over their heads and across their shells.

Looking away and realizing the position they were in Aang leapt backwards of Zuko.

Sitting up, Zuko bought his hand to his face and covered his mouth, turning away from Aang to cover the redness that had ridden to his face. He couldn’t believe how much he was blushing today; he couldn’t even remember blushing this much with Mai.

It took a while but finally the color in their faces had vanished and looking around the realized the sun had long since risen, meaning the others would come looking for them soon.

“We should pro... probably clean up” Zuko’s voice came out slightly higher than he wanted, causing him to stop half way through to clear his throat and try again.

“Yeah” Aang’s voice came at equally and shrill, but unlike Zuko he didn’t even bother trying to correct it.

They both began to strip and realizing they were facing each other spun around to give each other some privacy. 

Just because they felt and knew what was under the layers of cloth, doesn’t mean they wanted to see. Does it?

Aang let Zuko walk into the stream first, the sound of water moving told, him what was happening, but out of respect for Zuko he wouldn’t turn around.

When Zuko called the all clear, he turned around and saw Zuko scrubbing his clothes clean of the sweat and dirt that had piled up. He was faster than Aang thought he would be, because he had already finished some part of his outfit.

Walking in Aang, realized that they had both kept their underwear on, and began to copy Zuko’s example, scrubbing his clothes clean of the dirt they had obtained when Zuko tackled him.

After the clothes were clean, or as clean as they could be without soap. They set them aside and began to clean themselves. 

Aang used water bending to reach places that he couldn’t, like the middle of his back and once finished looked over to see how Zuko was doing.

Zuko was struggling to clean his back and hair, dirt sticking to the cuts that he had made the previous night to himself, the fabric he wore around his waist used as a cloth. Faced with a situation, Aang could walk away or help. 

Moving forward, he moved Zuko’s hand out of the way and began to take over the task of cleaning Zuko’s back and wounds. He expected Zuko to move away or get angry, but when neither reaction was forthcoming, he but more strength behind each pass of his hand.

The water around him started to dirty with the mixture of blood, sweat and dirt. Once that was finished and there was no more skin to clean, Aang put the fabric aside and turned to the last thing to clean. Zuko’s hair. Aang would never admit it, but Zuko’s hair always looked so soft regardless of what happened.

Feeling a slight pressure on his head, Zuko looked at Aang and realizing what he wanted slowly knelt down until Aang could reach his head easily. 

The first few tugs of Aang’s fingers through his hair hurt, as they snagged on tangles and dried blood. He had to grit his teeth to keep from yelping, but as it went on, the harsh pulls, turned into gentle tugs. Against his will, Zuko’s eyes closed and a sound of content left his lips. His body relaxed and for once in a long time, he began to enjoy physical contact given to him.

Neither knew how long they sat like that, hearing the content purrs from Zuko, Aang continued to comb his hand through his hair, long after the dirt and blood was gone. 

The moment was broken again, but not by the turtle ducks which had long since moved away, but by the wind hitting the water on their skin and making them shiver. Aang stopped and pulled his hands back prompting Zuko to stop purring, his eyes snapped open and he was bought back to reality. 

Realizing where they were and that this was no time for affection, or whatever that was they both began to move towards the shore, modesty forgotten as another gust of wind blew through causing goose bumps.

Using fire-bending they dried their clothes and quickly got dressed.

“Are you feeling better” Aang spoke as he turned around, his voice calm tinge with slight concern.

“Yes, no… no ones ever asked me that”. Zuko looked at Aang in wonder like he was something out a fairytale, and maybe he was, maybe this was all just a dream and soon he would wake up, but he didn’t and it wasn’t. It was all real. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you”. Zuko added, because who was he kidding Aang was adorable and with everything he had been through, Aang deserved to hear these words. Not words praising him as the avatar, but as a person. A person with a good heart not by obligation, but by choice. Aang made him want to be a better person.

Aang had gone his whole life since finding out, praised only for his title. No one had ever praised him, so without thinking he leapt forward and wrapped himself around Zuko, lips connecting in a kiss. 

Zuko didn’t know what to do, and even if he did he wouldn’t be able to do anything. His arms were trapped to his sides by Aang legs, and yes he could use his fire bending to break away, but part of him didn’t want to. After fighting with himself, Zuko gave in and began to return the kiss

“Wha…How…When…Wha…”. Sokka voice ruined the moment his head moving in every direction looking for answers. The movement of his head was to fast, that it seemed to blur and multiple head appeared, only to stop when he became dizzy and fell over backwards.

Katara’s mouth was hanging open, moving slightly but no words came out. Momo and Appa looked unconcerned and Toph was asking for answers.

Aang looked over at Zuko, only to see that a blush had stained his face and neck red, and he was getting redder with every passing second. Aang felt slightly hurt that Zuko wouldn’t look at him, he thought the kiss was shared not one sided.

Looking back to the group. He answered Toph’s question.

“I kissed Zuko”, he was willing to take the fall for it, if Zuko didn’t want anything to do with it, then he would allow everyone to believe that it was just him involved and that Zuko was the ‘unlucky’ bystander.

Sokka sat up and Katara’s mouth snapped closed the looks on their faces saying it all, ‘WHAT’. After a few minutes of them staring at him he began to feel uncomfortable, or in Toph case smirking like she knew some big secret. It was only when Katara opened her mouth to speak that Zuko spoke again.

“WE KISSED”, Zuko practically shouted, the crestfallen expression on Aang face driving him to action, he meant what he said and he was honorable enough to stick by it.

Sokka fainted again, his body making an audible thud on the floor. Katara’s mouth dropping open again.

An almost defining silence followed, broken only by the sound of Momo running around and Zuko feet as he moved next to the avatar and took hold of his hand. He wouldn’t allow Aang to feel alone again.

“It’s about time” Toph spoke causing everyone to look at her.

“What” she asked as she felt their stares on her. Turning away she walk back through the trees calling to Appa as she went. Leaving behind a stream of question from the water tribe siblings towards the new couple.


End file.
